There aren’t any decent single men left at the moment in New York City. This is what everyone keeps telling us. When Deanna* moved into the city in the latter part of 2021, it was her turn to see if there was any truth in this claim. Freshly single after their boyfriend for 3 years broke up with her through Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. It was around this time that a Facebook group called Are we Dating the same Guy NYC became a good opportunity to follow. It had a rigorous prescreening questionnaire and community rules which served as a barrier for entry. The group was comprised of 43,000 people. Deanna was interested, and she joined.
The community
The community was created in the exact purpose of helping women check if their partners were seeing the wrong people-was founded in the month of March 2022. The majority of major US city is home to a similar group and the rules are clear: Anyone can post anonymously. There is no censorship or sharing sensitive data, and under no circumstances can screenshots be deleted from the group. No bullies, no victim-blaming or hate speech. Don’t ever tell a person that they’ve been posted to the group. Following the scandal that of West Elm Caleb, someone with whom many women from New York shared negative dating experiences and made connections online, it seemed like a lot of women were searching for a way to suss out other people who were like him.More Here https://datingfortodaysman.com/ At our site A TikTok user commented at the time This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.
That’s more or less the way this group was when Deanna joined. Every time a new version of Are We Dating the Same Guy functions as a central place for women who seek advice on their relationship or make a statement about the men with whom they’ve had bad dating experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is this practice that involves sending them other women to entice them via social media-has also become common. It’s not difficult to fall into a tunnel of screenshots of Hinge profiles, tales about hookups that have gone wrong, and memes about the perils of modern dating. Many of the most popular posts feature photos of a person with his first name, asking whether someone has matched or been a date with the person in question. Emojis of the red flag are a frequent sight on sparse yet alarming posts that warn the audience of a former lover or bad experience frequently accompanied by a downward arrow and the depressing wording See comments for more info.
Dating online has taken over our lives in recent years, with one recent study finding that about 39 percent of heterosexual couples met their spouse online. It’s only natural that the romantic component of romance has to adapt to the new digital age. Instead of chatting with some of our friends in a bar, or sharing stories with colleagues, we’re seeking advice from 43,000 women with similar – and in some cases very similar-experiences.
It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie Another group member. Not saying that there’sn’t certain privileges however, it was beneficial for me to clarify my perception of dating. There’s nothing to do to other females, rather holding men to a higher standards than what I was used to before.
It’s obvious to me, however, that the kind of behavior that’s promoted and facilitated by Are We the Dating the Same Guy could be to be considered a red flag by potential partners. Photos, details of private conversations and screenshots thrown up without the consent of the other party or knowledge are abundant. People dig up social media profiles on an almost daily basis. It’s not difficult for a date to get to be the center of attention. Even though Deanna likes being part of the group, she does have some reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she declares. But I’m convinced that you’ll come across the problem that it can become this echo chamber of ‘Men have forced us to do this for so long and now we’re going to do it right back.
We are still living in the patriarchal system
We live in an environment of patriarchy. Therefore, until we’re truly equal on the internet, these interactions will produce different outcome based on the background of each individual. However, can a group like this really be committed to empowering itself on one side of the coin and reprehensible atrocity in the name of God on the other? Are We All Dating the Same Guy is hyperlocal and inter-personal, but only for those who live and date in the area the group is based in. The women, as well as the people they blog about can be your neighbor colleague, coworker’s friend, family member, or most recently Hinge match. And yet, there’s a loss of personalization that comes with operating on the internet, which makes it all feel like the game. It’s not too far for me to say this is in opposition on the dates that are part of both groups. This is particularly true when the details about private interactions, conversations as well as photos were shared without knowing or consent, usually to provide entertainment.